The beginning of the end for me
was the day I finally saw You for You.
Before that, you were just a name to bandy about,
a pacifier for those who had no clue.
You were to be more feared than loved,
that was simply the order of the day.
At least, that’s what I had been told,
and I wasn’t one to disobey.
Ironically, the moment
I felt You close by,
was when breaking the rules,
this I cannot deny.
Yet still, You revealed to me
a deep truth from within,
hidden under layers
of worldly din.
I believed at the center
of my lonely, lonely heart
that You didn’t love me,
I was somehow apart.
That belief shaped my actions,
my relationships, my core.
How could I flip this thought
so deeply stitched into my lore?
The answer is slowly and gently,
bouyed by the strength of Your love.
Could there be a stronger force
in this earthly world or above?
Now that I know You are on my side,
anything and everything seems possible.
An entire lifetime has been examined,
motivations analyzed and found tossable.
Frameworks have been readjusted,
future plans left open for guidance to come.
Some things are ending, others just beginning.
It feels like I’m mourning, my heartstrings a’strum.
As I bury my former self in the ground,
I wonder how long this grief will last.
I beg You, please, don’t give up on me,
as I overcome my treacherous past.
What will the other side look like,
I ask every day.
You present me with options
to choose from, but nay!
we’ll chose together,
You and I.
We’ll rebuild this life from love, not fear.
Even when I’m alone, I’ll know You’re near.
And this I can say
one hundred percent,
my heart has grown porous,
there’s no more cement.
I live only for You
and whatever good I can do,
till the end of time,
till the end of mine.