Impossible to Love

I see you, child,
with your dimpled smile,
your tubby legs,
your first stumbling steps,
a complete trust in the universe
that nothing will harm you,
even as your harried mother
calculates all potential risks.
I see you grow suddenly
into a self-conscious girl,
with your quiet demeanor,
wide eyes studying the world,
and the slowly unfurling belief
that, surely,
you are impossible to love.
Do not listen to that voice, my dear.
It is not the voice of your friend.
It erupted out of thin air
with one simple mission in life:
to persuade you of this tragic lie.
This voice will say anything
to get your attention.
It will create fear
where once there was only joy,
shame, where there was self-acceptance,
doubt, where there was trust, divine.
Don’t listen to that voice, my dear.
You’re not impossible to love.
Your mother is just too busy
dealing with her own emotions
to register yours,
your father, too preoccupied providing you
the life he always desired.

As you grow into a most well-mannered lady,
with your caring ways
and bookish behavior,
don’t let the lie fester.
Don’t let it solidify.
You are not impossible to love.
Your teacher is just overwhelmed
by the rowdier kids in class,
your friends, navigating their own
positions of popularity,
that boy you like, oblivious
of your affection.
The love you seek from everyone else,
can only be found in One.
That is the One you must search for.
Pay no heed to the lies echoing
daily, inside your mind.

As you grow to develop a false veneer
of self-assuredness,
with your radiant energy
and analytical approach,
you make choices that will dictate
the direction of your life –
what to study,
where to live,
who to marry.
Always remember,
you are not impossible to love.
Your husband just never learned how to love, himself,
your siblings, exhausted from caring for their own families,
your mentors, quietly dealing with their own inadequacies.
You are so busy pleasing everyone else,
you’ve forgotten the One
Who’s always there.

As you enter the daunting world
of motherhood,
you will finally realize,
you are not impossible to love.
Because this tiny being looks up at you
as if you were the moon and the stars.
This child’s love is pure and untainted,
abundant.
This child will love you,
but also,
antagonize you,
challenge you,
taunt you,
harass you.
Stay the course, no matter what.
Teach this child to love,
to listen,
to laugh,
to live.
Teach this child he is loved, inside and out,
not just by you,
but by the Artist
Who molded him to life
with One Breath.

As your hair turns silver
and your skin softens to the touch,
take a hammer to the lie that grew unchecked
within you.
Ignite a fire,
smoke out the debris
and finally see the truth for what it is.
You are loved beyond compare,
beyond measure,
beyond doubt.
Every single trial you faced
was proof of that love.
Every single tear you shed
was a gift from above.
Silence the liar in your head
who wanted only to control you.
And while you’re at it,
proclaim to the world,
to every single boy and girl,
every human, in every corner:
they are deeply and magnificently loved.
Uncover their eyes,
break down their walls,
pull them back from the precipice.
You are not impossible to love, my dears.
That’s the greatest lie ever told.
To you, belongs a Lover
Who has gifted you the world,
the oceans,
the forests,
the mountains,
the meadows.
To you, belongs a Lover
Who asks only for one thing,
and that is to remember Him.
Remember Him,
and He will remember you.
Forget Him,
and He will still remember you.
That is the depth of His love.
Because even though, for Him,
nothing is impossible,
all He ever wanted
was to love you.

House of Mirrors

Some days this world is like a snow globe
in the hands of a gleeful child
being shaken with force and fury,
snowstorms, hurricanes, wildfires, riled.

Other days this world is like a house of mirrors,
each speck of love and good will
reflected from one crystalline heart to another,
multiplied, magnified, distilled.

Our crystal hearts come in all shapes and shine,
rubies, emeralds, sapphires, divine,
slate grey stones, cloudy pebbles,
prismatic diamonds, onyx rebels.

Some are cracked, some have coating,
bubble-wrapped or free-floating.
Some have dark stains, deeply set,
Others are polished, gleaming with sweat.

Each light reflects and absorbs
the One True Guiding Light.
Though we sense it all around us,
it blinds even the sharpest sight.

This life is like a treasure hunt,
with clues and signs at every turn,
nudging us in the right direction,
each prize, another truth to learn.

As I gaze upon the night sky,
I wonder if our microscopic atoms
revolve in synchronous dance with
our universe’s planetary patterns.

We started out as only One,
then separated into dualities,
branched into clans and countries,
created divisive mentalities.

How seriously we take this illusory life,
how foolishly we resist our intuition.
Surely, it leads those who listen with care,
to eternal peace and submission.

The Cyclical Nature of Life

We’ve all heard the idea that life moves in cycles. Sometimes we experience joy in life and sometimes we endure hardship. Sometimes we feel happy, and other times, blue. The seasons change from hot to cold and back again. We live, then we die, only to be born again, according to some people’s beliefs, into an eternal life. Or perhaps, as others believe, we are reborn as different people in successive lives, thus perpetuating the cycle.

If you think a bit more deeply about this cyclical nature of, not just the physical things around us, but also concepts and ideas, you realize that almost every idea has a cyclical opposite. Such is the duality of life. The opposite of beauty is ugliness; guilty is innocent; give is take; and forward is backward. If you think of these concepts, not as linear opposites, but rather cyclical ones, your understanding of life will start to change.

Let me clarify what I mean. In a cycle, forward is not just the opposite of backward; it is actually leading us to backward, and then forward again. As individuals, we are each on our own path, at different points upon these cycles. For example, a criminal may feel guilty and ashamed, but he may also be kind to animals and mentally intelligent. Over the course of his life, his guilt may lead to innocence in some form. Perhaps, he will find a way to cleanse his soul or help someone else avoid the same fate as him. Shame might lead to a sense of pride; not necessarily arrogance, but a humble kind of pride. His kindness doesn’t necessarily have to lead to unkindness. If he works at it, this man can extend the kindness he shows to animals, to humans, too. His mental intelligence might not lead to idiocy, but rather spiritual intelligence. So the cycle doesn’t necessarily remain static. This man always had choices, at every step of his life. By making the right ones, he was able to evolve as a person. Hence, you realize that the cycle is not really a cycle at all, but a spiral, with never-ending opportunities for us to evolve.

It’s interesting to note that we all have microscopic spirals within each of our cells, called DNA. Our DNA is what dictates who we are. But science has proven that DNA can also change over time. Just like each and every one of us can.

If the spiral is in the form of an infinite loop, then we are always moving forward and backward at the same time, as if we’re walking up an escalator that’s going down, or running on a hamster wheel. What does this all mean, exactly? I don’t know. I’m neither a scientist, nor a theologian. I’m just someone who’s trying to figure out how to fight my demons and evolve as a person, using the resources at my disposal – the coding in my DNA – to try to help me understand the truth.

One of the reasons I find the idea of spirals and cycles so appealing is that it takes a little bit of the pressure off. We were all born at different points in the “universal spiral” of life. We had absolutely no say in it. All we can do is the best we can, with what we’ve got. This idea might help us to be less judgmental of others, too. Not just our friends and neighbors, but also our parents and partners. Who’s to say who’s more evolved as a person – you or anybody else? If ever you’ve compared yourself to another person (you know we all do it) and quietly assumed, in the deepest recesses of your heart, that you are, in some way, better than that person, let that feeling go. Yes, you might be better at Math, and he/she at Writing. But in the overall scheme of life, no one is superior to another, because we each started our lives with different handicaps and circumstances, and we’re each equipped with our own particular strengths and weaknesses.

In the end, we’re all walking forward and backward on the same universal spiral. We’re all struggling with our own demons, as different as they may be. We’re all really just the same. And we all really just need each other.

The opposite of being alone is being together. At this current point in our universal existence, maybe our loneliness, which itself was a reaction to too much forced togetherness, is now leading us back towards a more enlightened sense of community and connection. I really do hope so.

I’d love to hear your what you think. Please leave a comment below.