Loneliness,
for so long have you been my oppressor,
that now, finally, you’ve turned into my friend.
Like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome,
I have fallen for you.
We walk hand in hand, daily,
you, listening to my rambling reason,
hovering stealthily close to my consciousness,
grasping at my heart with hunger.
It is a wonder no one’s been able to steal it
with you barking them down at the gate.
Most days, I resent your presence;
other days, I long for it,
because you are all I know,
and you want me
with a desperation
unlike any I’ve ever known.
Loneliness,
you are the first beat of my heart every morning,
the last gaze at my empty bedside every night.
When will you free me?
When will I escape?
It’s the same dance,
always the same dance.
These narcissistic,
co-dependent
chains that bind us.
They say I should call out to my savior,
and that I need only look in the mirror
to find her.
But, truth be told,
she scares me.
She wants too much.
She is kind and caring on the face of it,
but, in reality, her heart is cloaked
in something far darker than you, my love –
Desire.
She would have me leave you
to follow her own quest
for fulfillment,
enlightenment,
submission,
love.
We all know of love’s fickle nature, don’t we,
compared to your constancy and commitment.
Love destroyed me once;
who’s to say it won’t do so again?
But what if…?
What if this love was from her,
my mirror image,
and what if I loved her back?
Wouldn’t we then have the strength
to achieve everything our hearts desired –
dark or light,
wrong or right?
Wouldn’t swimming through muddy waters with her
be more thrilling than this quiet,
cloying existence?
Sometimes I see glimpses
of her beauty,
her care,
but mosty,
her greed,
her endless need.
Look at me,
am I not content in my loneliness?
Perhaps we aren’t as different as I thought,
she and I.
Perhaps if we joined forces,
we could create our own blended brand
of magic.
We need not hoard it selfishly,
for, in essence, magic is unconditional
love and freedom,
both of which can’t be contained for long.
Oh to dance with such loveliness,
not loneliness, my dear.
To let love lead the way
spinning us ‘round in circles
as if life were a ball.
But for this vision to hold true,
I must finally let go of you.
And though the loss might slay me
at first,
it is in the re-discovery
of my reflection,
and my ultimate reunion
with her,
that loss will turn into freedom,
and my wings will be the wonder
I witness
as I make my way forward
in awe.
Tag Archives: submission
Daydreaming
To daydream
is to choose
to manufacture memories
that may or may not
come true.
Those of us blinded by our dreams,
can no longer taste
the very ingredients
that make up a memory –
moment
after moment
after many moments,
falling away from us
like dominoes.
The cacophony of city life.
The haze of foggy mornings.
Limbs that ache from dancing the dance.
Tensions that rise with our every stance.
The lust for longing
and the longing for lust.
Bliss after bliss,
in every kiss.
Whether it be food entering our lips,
or words of validation soothing our ears,
we all hunger.
But we’re so focused on filling
that hunger,
we lose out on all
the whimsy and wonder,
hiding so patiently,
in our periphery.
We’re so focused on what we want,
and what we don’t have,
we forget to embrace
what we do.
Gratitude
is a doorway.
Step through and you’ll eventually see
how all that you want can come to be.
Complete surrender
isn’t just the ultimate level to achieve,
it’s also a sensory journey to perceive.
So stop with your ceaseless struggle.
Sip,
savor,
satiate
your soul
by sinking
into
submission.
And snap out of your daydreams
of winning less worthy goals.
There is no higher aim in life
than to let go of all desire,
or rather,
use that desire to create:
our own portal back home,
our own staircase leading inwards,
our six senses, fully awakened,
our bodies shaking and quaking,
with the desire
to let go of desire.
There’s really no escaping it.
So why not aim for the stars?
The higher you aim,
the greater the risk and reward,
the larger our capacity
for pain and pleasure.
And what could be higher
than seeking and sensing
He Who is
Most High,
He Who is
Most Sly?