Impossible to Love

I see you, child,
with your dimpled smile,
your tubby legs,
your first stumbling steps,
a complete trust in the universe
that nothing will harm you,
even as your harried mother
calculates all potential risks.
I see you grow suddenly
into a self-conscious girl,
with your quiet demeanor,
wide eyes studying the world,
and the slowly unfurling belief
that, surely,
you are impossible to love.
Do not listen to that voice, my dear.
It is not the voice of your friend.
It erupted out of thin air
with one simple mission in life:
to persuade you of this tragic lie.
This voice will say anything
to get your attention.
It will create fear
where once there was only joy,
shame, where there was self-acceptance,
doubt, where there was trust, divine.
Don’t listen to that voice, my dear.
You’re not impossible to love.
Your mother is just too busy
dealing with her own emotions
to register yours,
your father, too preoccupied providing you
the life he always desired.

As you grow into a most well-mannered lady,
with your caring ways
and bookish behavior,
don’t let the lie fester.
Don’t let it solidify.
You are not impossible to love.
Your teacher is just overwhelmed
by the rowdier kids in class,
your friends, navigating their own
positions of popularity,
that boy you like, oblivious
of your affection.
The love you seek from everyone else,
can only be found in One.
That is the One you must search for.
Pay no heed to the lies echoing
daily, inside your mind.

As you grow to develop a false veneer
of self-assuredness,
with your radiant energy
and analytical approach,
you make choices that will dictate
the direction of your life –
what to study,
where to live,
who to marry.
Always remember,
you are not impossible to love.
Your husband just never learned how to love, himself,
your siblings, exhausted from caring for their own families,
your mentors, quietly dealing with their own inadequacies.
You are so busy pleasing everyone else,
you’ve forgotten the One
Who’s always there.

As you enter the daunting world
of motherhood,
you will finally realize,
you are not impossible to love.
Because this tiny being looks up at you
as if you were the moon and the stars.
This child’s love is pure and untainted,
This child will love you,
but also,
antagonize you,
challenge you,
taunt you,
harass you.
Stay the course, no matter what.
Teach this child to love,
to listen,
to laugh,
to live.
Teach this child he is loved, inside and out,
not just by you,
but by the Artist
Who molded him to life
with One Breath.

As your hair turns silver
and your skin softens to the touch,
take a hammer to the lie that grew unchecked
within you.
Ignite a fire,
smoke out the debris
and finally see the truth for what it is.
You are loved beyond compare,
beyond measure,
beyond doubt.
Every single trial you faced
was proof of that love.
Every single tear you shed
was a gift from above.
Silence the liar in your head
who wanted only to control you.
And while you’re at it,
proclaim to the world,
to every single boy and girl,
every human, in every corner:
they are deeply and magnificently loved.
Uncover their eyes,
break down their walls,
pull them back from the precipice.
You are not impossible to love, my dears.
That’s the greatest lie ever told.
To you, belongs a Lover
Who has gifted you the world,
the oceans,
the forests,
the mountains,
the meadows.
To you, belongs a Lover
Who asks only for one thing,
and that is to remember Him.
Remember Him,
and He will remember you.
Forget Him,
and He will still remember you.
That is the depth of His love.
Because even though, for Him,
nothing is impossible,
all He ever wanted
was to love you.

Letter to My Son

When I look at your beautiful face, son,
I see an ocean of ancestors.
I see my eyes,
the eyes of my father
and his father before him.
I see your dad’s expressions,
his inner child.
I see history and the future
all rolled into one.
I see God’s love and mercy
to have placed your care
into my hands.
When I see you smile and your eyes
it’s like seeing the world through you,
full of wonder and impossible joy.
When you look pensive,
my mind automatically goes
to all the ways I’m failing you.
You see, my son,
I’m a glass half empty kind of person,
and I know, despite my best efforts,
I’ve passed that worldview onto you.
I want to be the one to rise above it,
to show you that it can be done.
As I see you growing older,
your curiosity being leached from within,
your twinkle getting tarnished,
I think of all the ways this world is failing you.
Let’s be part of the solution,
you and I.
Let’s flip the system.
Let’s turn the mirror right way round.
Let’s fill that glass to the very top,
heck, let it overflow.
There’s never any lack of love here,
that is the biggest myth of all.
We just need to stop blocking love’s flow.
It won’t always take the shape we imagined.
It will sometimes be more hardship than hearts,
more resilience than roses,
more patience than passion,
but remember, dear,
tears are Divine kisses, too.
Don’t hold on too tightly to anything,
not even the identity you’ve so carefully constructed.
Let it all flow,
let it all go,
let love be your strength,
not your weakness.
If you’re going to hold on tightly to anything, my son,
let it be the One,
let it be His Rope,
and let it take you where it will.